Bisexual people are plain selfish.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
