I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
