so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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