Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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