I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
