so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
