Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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