Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
