That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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