We won't sleep together?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
