ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
