if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
