We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
