He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
