FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
