We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i've created a new STD.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
