stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
