I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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