My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
