I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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