Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize