hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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