That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize