I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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