arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
