Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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