We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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