After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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