she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
