I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
