I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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