end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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