when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
