How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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