How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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