just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
