woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
