if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize