Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
