okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
