drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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