4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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