You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
