So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He passed out mid-signature
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
