We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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