I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize