I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
