Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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