Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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