im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
