yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
