So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I need moral support for this bender
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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