No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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