I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize