All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
