I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
