Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
