bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
No subtext here. People are naked.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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