I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
