Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
