AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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