I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
