the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
