I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
