that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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