Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
