piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
