You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
