we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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