Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
