my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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