You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
