Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
