it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
