I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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