ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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