i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she told me i tasted like america
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
