I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
